You Look a Little Pale

It is a hopeless endeavour to attract people to a theatre unless they can be first brought to believe that they will never get in. ~Charles Dickens Sorry about the long series of impersonal uninformative posts. I’ve been in a real funk and have avoided whining about my personal life. I had a post up a couple of days ago, and very few people read it. It was an oh-so-fun self-indulgent outlet for depressing woes that didn’t need to be read by the general public but definitely needed to be written. I took it down after a few hours. This time around, I’ll try to portray myself as a sane person. I’m going through a rough couple of weeks where I’m overly lonely and frustrated about everything. I hadn’t seen people in about a week, and I was taking it too personally, and I’ve been coming down with a cold (or Avian Flu). Plus, I’m really irritated by the happiness of others. I still haven’t found a job. I’ve applied for several, but I haven’t heard back from hardly anyone. The position here is still open, which is discouraging because at this point I figure they haven’t found anyone for the job and are still waiting for applicants. I’ve figured out apartment time. Though I still have to vacate on June 1, I can return as early as July 1. This leaves me hanging for a month, but I think I can rely on the hospitality of friends for that long… Chelsea? JZ? But even though half the stuff is figured out, I’m generally frustrated with not knowing where life is going. One Acts were this weekend, and I’ve been really bummed that I couldn’t go. One Acts were definitely my favorite thing about GCC theatre. I don’t know if I even realized it when I was there. It was so freeing to do a show in such an intimate space with such fun people. Though I love Dr. D. and Mrs. C. it’s nice to just do theatre with your peers. (I am, of course, excluding any contact with the Notorious Killer Bee). It’s where I was able to do material written by my own roommate (and act like a black man. Where else can you do that?). It was where I got my first shot at directing (which turned out kinda horribly, but nonetheless…) It was where freshmen were on equal ground with upper-classmen. It’s the project that everyone and their mother auditioned for. There are just so many memories. Auditions – I have some pictures from auditions when I was auditioning for Lights Out. It’s just a bunch of us goofing around in the art gallery. I remember having Monica cast Spreading the News because I had a debilitating migraine and could barely open my eyes. I remember JZ innocently clicking his pen on his belt buckle while a girl he used to like auditioned for him, giving him the appearance of doing something very naughty. I remember after auditions for Here We Are, Stephanie and I snuck down under the pit to eavesdrop on the directors to see what we’d get cast in / who would fight over us. By the time we chickened out and went back upstairs, we realized that they were still auditioning one more person. There were times where I would audition 6 or 7 times because somebody needed a guy to read opposite to. The Philadelphia, my first one act, was directed by Brendan’s mortal enemy Derek, and one of my favorite people, Hobbes (not the tiger. Actually I’d be surprised if anybody reading this remembers him). I remember it took forever to cast the waitress. It went through several people, including Diana P. before winding down to Kellie. Then in rehearsal, Derek would make us run the show in a different character every time: Scottish, drunk, gay, clowns, God-knows-what. By the time we got to the performance, it was like we were doing it for the first time. And it was wonderful. Then we have The Boor, by Anton Chekov. I’ll tell you what: I hate Chekov. I think he’s boring as all get out. But this was my favorite one act I ever did. It was basically a one-man-show half the time with monologue after monologue of sexist rantings in flowery translated-from-Russian language. I got to do some acting with Brendan, which was fun. I basically chased him around the stage. For Cherith, it was her first kiss. And she bit me. Every time. And there were three other people in it that rarely get credited: Robbie, the Schrode, and Scott. They always came in at the very end basically for the tableau, and I felt bad that the directors often made them show up for rehearsal. Spreading the News was my directorial debut as well as the debut of Chris L. It was basically because of him that I made the play Scottish, even though it was clearly an Irish play. (Seriously, go out drinking with the guy. It’s his most natural accent) I got in trouble for that, but seriously: kilts, people. How can you pass that up? Brittany G. was also in it. I got to make her look like an ugly old lady. Sweet. This is also the time that I was in Stagecraft and I made the class build my set piece: the apple stand. Then I had everyone I know steal as many apples as they could get their hands on show week. Brian had this huge trench coat, and its tails had openings, so they were like huge pockets. I think he lifted at least 70 apples. Lights Out. Though not technically my favorite, it was definitely the most fun. Ever. JZ’s first performed work, it was a masterpiece. The only video we have of the performance is the benefit performance for the old people, and they heckled us through the whole thing, which I think makes it better. It was completely in the dark, and they made us lie still under old tattered asbestos-ridden curtains for an hour before each show so we’d surprise everyone. This led to people getting stepped-on. (not me, though). Spider-Man dressed as the Pope, Blindey Blind Guy Wes, George Michael song and dance number with sparkly gold hats. *sigh* It may be true that the best parts of Here We Are were during auditions, but that doesn’t mean the production wasn’t a blast. Stephanie had the moral wrestling match with whether or not we should kiss, worsened by my little joke of throwing her then-boyfriend’s name into the script… But there was never a downside to hangin’ out with two hot D-Phis. And two-person shows are great as far as rehearsals go. Fall ’05 was a bit controversial because I acted and directed. I understand that some people were upset and gave Monica a lot of flack for casting me, but I think it turned out great. It was a way for me to feel like I’d done a college-career’s-worth of TAP One-Acts. I’d never gotten to work with Monica in a director/actor dynamic (unless you count Museum, which I don’t) and Wanda’s Visit was my only chance. And I really wanted that chance. Monica’s a great director. Nobody will ever let me forget the time I planted my face in Kayla’s boobs and totally broke character the rest of the run-through because I was so embarrassed and giggly. Small World, in my opinion, was the best One Act in that festival. I had great, dedicated actors who worked really hard on a very complicated script and it turned out beautifully. Some of the most awesome under-classmen were in that show, and I hope to see them go on to do lots of cool things. I loved directing this show because my style is to sort of lead by example (a style that is really frowned upon on NYC) and I got to imitate all these crazy characters. So they’d do something crazy, and I got to say, “No I mean CRAZY!!” Good times. One Acts and theatre were my life at college. And it was a good life. This is another reason I took the post down, because I talked about this on Friday, and I didn’t want it to look like I was begging for votes. The TAP awards (also known as the Berkeys) are coming up and I’m so desperate to be involved that I’m even putting the program together. I knew that voting was wrapping up at the end of One Acts, and I couldn’t help but ponder the following. I really want to win something. It’s not a competitive thing. I don’t want to beat out someone else. I just want to join the ranks. Since I was a freshman, I used to look at that board and think about the people that were on there. It’s what I used to do before going on stage in a one act or during a break at a main stage. I really looked up to those people and, for lack of a better term, dreamed of being one of them. I absolutely poured my soul into theatre the whole time I was at Grove City. But in a few short years, there won’t be any evidence that I was ever even there. You think I’m lying? Go check. I think it really started to get to me when I saw the show Just Like Us about a month ago. One character was an old woman who confessed that she obsessed with being remembered. It turned out that she was this great actress and had won many awards, but she confessed to hiding pictures of herself at her boyfriend’s house and writing messages in his leather-bound books so that when his grandchildren found them they’d ask about her and her legacy would live on. Her obsession went as far as hiding things in tree knots and burying boxes of trinkets, trusting that one day someone would find these things and be intrigued. I didn’t say it in my review post, but that’s what hit me really hard when I saw that show. When I really said, “she’s just like me.” I know I’m up for best actor for Major Barbara. The reason I didn’t want to talk about it before now is that I really don’t think I deserve it more than Derrick or someone else. Yes, they have a few more years to make it, but that doesn’t make it right to vote for me just because I’m a senior. Now the voting’s over and I’ve said my peace. There are some phenomenal actors at Grove City. I’d like to be thought of as one of them. So yeah, I was bummed about not getting to see One Acts. I really wanted to see Neil and Allan’s show. There was actually a one-sided falling out with JZ on the possibility of driving down there for it. But it’s okay now. They can send me a tape. I think JZ’s really pulling his stuff together and doing some serious work on acting/writing. He’s almost done with a project and I get to read it soon. I’m also looking forward to seeing his show. I got to hang out with him a lot this weekend. I was at his place on Friday night after small group and I didn’t feel like going home to my neighborhood during Cinco de Mayo (With the whole immigration thing going on, I’m afraid that Hispanic holidays could quickly turn into a game of “Kill the Gringo.”) So I spent the night along with about 6 other people that were visiting for a wedding. The next morning, after a long discussion on the movie Hook, we saw Dustin Hoffman while we were having breakfast at a café. He tripped on the curb. The end. Also to lift my spirits, I went shopping. Though ridiculously girly, I really have needed new clothes for a while. I have savings, and I’ve really been stingy for the principle of the thing, plus I’m getting my lease deposit back along with graduation money at the end of the month, so I’m gonna do what I want. Actually, I still couldn’t bring myself to spend much on clothes. So when I got home I loaded up on fancy groceries. Tonight I’m having a four-course meal: salad with grilled chicken and light Italian dressing, fried calamari with marinara, spiral spinach pasta with spicy Italian sausage and roasted garlic sauce, and for dessert: Edy’s. Yes, I think food is love. And tonight I’m going to masticate all through “Prison Break” and “24” Speaking of college fairs, I went to one yesterday to help represent GCC loud and proud in the big city. Donkey was stuck there for about five hours, so I went and hung out for a little while. It was fun to hang out, but there wasn’t much catching up to do since we’re both faithful readers of each other. It didn’t leave us with much to talk about… But “we could talk or not talk forever, and still find things to not talk about.” So that sums it up. Soon I’m going back to the Grove and then to My Old Kentucky Home for my well- deserved -week- for- graduation -and- hanging- out- with- friends- and- family- I- haven’t- seen- in- half- a- year. It’s just a little more than a week away!! I’m excited beyond words. Now if I could just get my hands on some opium to tide me over till then…