May 15, 2006

All I Want is a Room Somewhere...

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.
~George Moore

My plane leaves Wednesday morning, and I’m packing… boxes, not bags.

I decided I’m not using my return ticket to New York next Tuesday. I’m going home and I’m staying there for the summer. I decided this on Friday afternoon, making this my last weekend in the Big City.

It’s been a long several months since graduation, as you all know. Living here by myself has been challenging and fulfilling in some ways, but difficult and lonely in others.

I have to vacate my apartment, as you know, on June 1. And I've been given the opportunity to return either a) in July to my old tiny room, or b) in September to the room I'm in now. So far, the plan had been to squat at a friend's place while I finished up my internship / started another job. After applying to several places and just hitting wall after wall, I realized that at this point I would just be looking for a crap job for the sake of staying in the City while I waited for the theatre community to open back up in the fall.

I realized that I have two choices: work a dumb job in NYC just to stay here for no real reason, or to get a dumb job at home and be able to save even more and get to be around friends and family and rest from the stress of the city. The second is the obviously better choice.

So I'm going home next Saturday night. As it is, I would be flying back to New York two days later just so I could finish the last two weeks of my internship (half that time without an apartment), just to turn around and come (fly, bus, hike) home again, all the while spending money that I don't have without making any to compensate. So you can see why getting on the plane back to New York doesn't look all too appealing.

For my last big weekend, I lived it up yesterday. It was my one day of “how bad will I miss this place?” I went around and did everything strictly New York: I went to Central Park and wrote for a while, I went for Pad Thai for lunch and to my favorite deli for dinner. I went shopping at a few stores that are only in New York, and I went and saw two (count ‘em 2) Broadway shows: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and Avenue Q. It was a ridiculously fun day, but it didn’t make me regret my decision to leave. Because even though I was having a great time, I had to do it by myself. It was an illustration of how things have been for me and generally how things work in the city: everybody’s doing their own thing, and that’s not how I function. I need people to connect with.

I knew it was the right decision immediately because as soon as it passed through my head that this was what I was going to do, I felt every pore on my body exhale as I sighed with such relief. This is a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

So I’m going back to my roots to recharge my batteries and reassemble the remaining pieces of my fractured soul. My plan is to really pull myself together (eat better, work out, make some savings…) and decide / prepare myself for whatever it is that I’m supposed to do with my life. I have every option to come back to the City and I’m certainly not burning any bridges. In fact, the plan is to return in September, but my options are still open to anything… and that feels great.

Comments on "All I Want is a Room Somewhere..."


Blogger James said ... (8:57 AM) : 

good call, trey. it sounds like a wise plan.


Blogger lvs said ... (7:47 PM) : 

Option B: Come live with Dan and me in Raleigh for a couple months. We have an extra bedroom...


Blogger Rain-Dawg said ... (8:52 PM) : 

I too agree with your decision. You need to recharge and save some money. Go back there someday with more money and more life experience. You can still do theatre at home, and honestly probably be a bigger stud there than you would in NYC... just because of competition and all. Good call.


Blogger monica said ... (12:26 AM) : 

that big sigh of relief you speak of? i felt it as soon as i realized that i was not going to move to NYC the week after graduation.

we've both made good decisions i think. just make sure you come back.

see you TOMORROW!!!!


Blogger kokanut said ... (4:25 PM) : 

Trey, I knew I wouldn't be able to see anyone last week when I was in the city, so I didn't contact anyone. Chels was the only who knew, because we were coming to be on TRL. All of you work, and I was at the mercy of the kids when we had free time.

So, I knew I wouldn't be able to see you, because you all work late, and I didn't want anyone to feel like they had to go out of their way to track me down just to say, "Hey."

That's why I didn't contact you or anyone. Nothing personal. Wish I could have seen you.

I think you made a wise decision, and you'll be super happy about it as soon as you get home.


Blogger Donkey Patrol said ... (2:34 PM) : 

Yeah dude! Safe travels ad hoc, and have fun recharging. I can't believe that 1) you saw Queen Latifah and that you saw her 2) in a Chinese restaurant. The fact that we both saw her in Pan-Asian settings is grounds for calling the Globe and telling them that QL has an MSG addiction. You in for that?


post a comment