January 25, 2006

January Breezes

I made another funny!
~Splinter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Every now and then, I think I’ll post about the little things about New York. Consider this the first of a series.

Growing up, I, like every other young boy, loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Even in college, those blindfold-clad reptiles helped me keep all the great artists in order. (Yes, they were color-coded.) I was a huge fan of the cartoon, in line for all three movie openings, and personally affronted when the live-action show and cartoon reincarnation bastardized what was one (well, four) of the biggest influences on my life (Five, if you count Splinter). I had the waterbottle, the action figures, the pajamas, I would doodle their faces constantly in class and at home. They were amazing.

The first thing you see in the original movie is one of those sewer lids with smoke coming out of it, and Michelangelo pops out to accept a pizza that had been delivered to that particular man hole from the bewildered Asian delivery guy. (I just realized I don’t like the term ‘man hole’ at all)

Anyway, those steaming man holes (It’s getting worse) are seen all around New York City, especially in the winter, even when it’s not that cold out. I guess I always assumed that they would smell like pizza. I didn’t assume they were cooking it down there or anything, but I assumed it would smell appropriate to the only food my beloved turtles consumed.

Last night I hung out with Lindsay at her apartment. We rented “Eulogy.” I recommend it. On the way back from Blockbuster, we were crossing an intersection with a particularly ostentatiously misty man hole. I wasn’t paying attention just before we walked through it, but if I had I would have been thinking of a refreshing warm breeze and possibly pizza. When the fog hit my face I was breathing normally, particularly on an inhale.

It was more than just a smell, it was an all-consuming physical sensation. To describe the experience will require a little imagination on everyone’s part. Imagine a homeless person (this may be easier for me because they’re constantly bombarding me on the subway, but I’m sure you can muster an image). He’s sitting on the ground next to a building, asking for change. Out of compassion, you grab a few dimes out of your pocket and bend down to throw them in his little hat. At that moment, he moves with ninja-like speed and latches onto your face, sealing his lips around your nose and covering your mouth with his tattered-fingerless-glove-clad hand. Just as you gasp in surprise, he belches.

If you ever come visit me, avoid the foggy man holes. They are what finally disillusioned me to the possibility of giant surfer crime-fighting turtles living beneath us, happily gorging themselves on pizza.

January 22, 2006

Friends, Friends, Friends

So I’m still sick, but I’m finally on antibiotics. Last night I got a terrible headache, feverish flashes and a bout of lonely depression. All side-effects of azithromycin. For self-therapy I wrote this. It’s an exhaustingly long post about everyone I could think of this weekend. I would feel sorry for making it so long, but I take comfort in the fact that most of you will just scroll down and look for yourselves.

Abs

The definition of sweetheart. She’s constantly nice to everyone. She goes out of her way to drop you a friendly note or to say an encouraging word. I’ll never forget her as YJ singing with OJ that gorgeous song…


Allan

There is only one Bumblebear to cast. Someone who loves kids as much as this guy has a much bigger heart than I could ever aspire to have. Sure he’s a facebook whore with about 30 billion GCC friends listed, but it’s a testament to his personality that they’re legitimate. Allan’s always available for deep, personal, serious talks.

Beth

She’s one of my hot friends. Simply amazing in looks and personality, Beth’s like my trophy friend. Constantly giving and way more responsible than the rest of us, Beth somehow maintains a ‘one of the guys’ status that makes her singularly special and awesome. Her hugs are the best thing in life.


Bethany

Sure I’ve been in New York for three weeks and haven’t seen her yet, but she’s still pretty sweet. We did the news together. We explored the infamous tunnels. We visited NYC. We fantasized her being a national reporter and me being a local one and being able to say “thanks, Bethany” with a knowing nod.

Brendan

The first roommate I liked, he helped erase freshman year from my GCC experience. His undying love for everything Jim Henson and his omnipotent access to media news greatly overshadowed the fact that he was 47 with a crippling nevernude complex. And he cleans nicely when you send threatening emails. Ha ha! Dangly parts.

Brittany G.

The first time you see her on stage, you just want to bask in the awesomeness of this woman. She let me pass International Politics and ate lunch with me almost every day that semester. A friend for such a short time, she still had a huge impact on my life. Beep Beep.

Brian

He included me in his top list of actors at school. That means a lot because he’s pretty amazing, even when he’s not allowed to talk. Try to come up with one special memory with this guy, and you’re still left with his entire repertoire of hilarity.

Caitlin

My fellow graduate. She does so much for her friends. She shares many qualities with her brother, coming from that amazing family, but she’s totally her own person. I claimed her as a surrogate sister on our first meeting, but now I’m proud to claim her as one of my best frieAAAA!!! I’m sorry. I looked up and there was someone behind me.

Charlie

This surprise friendship turned out to be another one of the richest ones I have. The only married man on this list, he’s given his heart wholly to Katie, which is such a big deal because it belonged to so many people. Charlie never met a stranger, yet was able to be one of my most loyal friends. He knows the night I’m talking about.

Chelsea

The sense of humor that launched a promising career in amazingness. Within a year of graduating, MTV recognized that, and now she’s working on TRL. Just a few more steps and she’ll be running the joint. Living the model NY life, she’s my inspiration. She told Sara Ramirez what I lacked the courage to say. Plus she auditioned once with the theme song from “Hey, Dude” while riding a stick horse. She introduced me to “Wet Hot American Summer.” Basically she taught me what’s really funny.

Chris

I brought this shiny building of a man to the GCC stage through one of its worst productions. But he was able to rise above that atrocity to the point where he’d get mainstage parts even when he didn’t want them. He’ll always hold a certain reputation in our group of friends, but beyond that, I just really like being around him. That is when he doesn’t have me in an inescapable uncomfortable position.

Dan
Another fantastic person to have lived with. Dan may or may not have been idolized by a few people for several reasons. He was just cool. I think of myself as kind of brave coming to New York, but it’s way cooler that he went to France right after graduation. We cried together at the scenery in the Two Towers Extended Edition.

Derrick

We really didn’t get to know each other until this year. Only God knows how we got Maj Babs even memorized, much less good. We worked together really well, and I think it’s because we were able to become friends that quickly. I guess we were just waiting for the opportunity. He bought me a sandwich in NYC, knowing well I couldn’t afford food.

Diana

Her voice is just the most obvious feature of a through-and-through beautiful person. I look up to her spiritually, which is saying a lot because she’s one of those. She’s a true friend who constantly looks out for and encourages everyone else. We had cake in South Lobby.

Doug

This is the friend I scorned. Marking his pinnacle, I thus sparked his decline. But even then, he remains awesome. The theatre missed him this semester, but he’ll be back, even if I’m not there to claim him as my own… Doug knows who he is and doesn’t let people change him. I’ll never forget his Hamlet.

Elanor

I don’t know Elanor that well, but we did spend a lot of time together in the makeup room. She is singularly the happiest person alive. At first I thought she’d piss me off, but instead she constantly makes me smile.

Garrett

The farthest away of all of us. Garrett is still the best at keeping up with everybody. It’s hard not to copy Rainey because she described him so well. But living with him also shaped who I am today. We microwaved a peep into oblivion.

Hannah

Few people aren’t terrified when they first meet her. The only picture I have of her classroom is in my imagination, but I love to think of them as petrified. At the same time, Hannah’s hilarious. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, and she’s incredibly loyal. The mere fact she hasn’t dumped Brendan yet is evidence. Maybe you should just ask him, darlin’

Hans

Everything he touches turns to gold. He’s the best at everything he does would really piss me off if I didn’t like him so much. He surprised me in how well we worked together in the Music Box. I still cry at that stupid theme song. I just know he’ll be successful, because if one thing falls through for him, he’s got a huge list of backup possibilities.

Hayden

A beautiful voice and a beautiful personality. For some reason, we didn’t hang out all that much, but when we did it was awesome. He was that other Sig that didn’t mind me being around. If he doesn’t audition for “Pirates,” I’m not coming to see it. He owes me that.

J-Ho

Because he’s genuinely crazy you’d never know how hard he works all the time. Terribly overcommitted Josiah does too much but loves every minute of it. A great actor, a great musician, and sometimes smart, he’s unique in a good way. He was naked. A lot.

James

That obnoxious Adel. I love him anyway. He’s the engineer tourguide, and our key to a whole new world. I think he’s the biggest loser.

JZ

Writer. Actor. Tap Dancer. He’d do pretty much whatever he was told. Stealing every scene, he’s a really great actor who works really hard to be so. Always willing to lend a helping hand and a prayer, Jonny’s a constant encouragement. If you ever catch him alone, you can witness some of his exceptional quirks. Personally, I like the OCD triangle of fun.

Katie K.

My dance partner in “West Side” I immediately knew that Katie was exceptional. It was her imagination that brought Thriller and the Mummy Musical to our stage as well as “the Waltz.” She made a great crazy lady in “Jane Eyre” and a wonderful villain in “Best Movie Ever.” Plus she’s just fun to be around.

Katherine O’

Just plain awesome. Constantly making me laugh while challenging myself, Kat’s just an example of the best parts about being human. Always doing her own thing, I look up to her in awe and confusion.

Kayla

How many times do I wish Kayla were around when I hear a great joke but not her laugh? She’s always having a great time and making the crappiest day fun again for everyone within a mile. We got to kiss in “Wanda’s Visit.”

Kelly D.

Thanks for being my black friend. Together we were able to perform the greatest “big yellow chicken” line the GCC stage has and ever will see. Always hugging me and telling me I’m beautiful, then poking me when she thinks I’m fat.

Kelly N.

The closest person to me in the city. She let me come over and cook. Out of that tiny frame comes this amazing voice that melts your heart.

Kelsey

My fellow Kentuckian. She used to take me home. Whether she wanted it or not, responsibility inevitably fell on her, and she took it in stride. A stride with purpose.

Laura

She’s kinda crazy. But her neuroses make her adorable. One of those intriguing people that manage to spend more time in Pew than I do. Only the two of us can reminisce about freshman year, because we were both in theatre and in the middle of that fiasco.

Lindsay K.

Oh, Mama Bear. My favorite memory is during “Magic Theatre” when we were behind the curtain because we were the only ones not in “Journey of the Kiss” and we would drain all the water guns in an attempt to quench our thirst from that exhausting, ridiculous show.

Lindsay S.

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Words can’t describe my love for you. You’re smart, funny, and delightfully wicked. I read because of you. It was delightful being third wheel to you and Dan sophomore year. It’s the only relationship like that I have. We should have had more train track walks.

Luke/Ryan

Whoever the hell he is. He completes me.

Matt

My inspiration for blogging. Gifted with looking at things in a new light, extremely intelligent and surprisingly witty. I got to know you after graduation, and it was thanks to the internet. Creepy.

Megan

The first time we met, I told her it was a pleasure knocking her up in back story. And it was. Megan’s always nice and constantly edifying. I sigh in remorse at the fact we almost dated and I didn’t realize it. Sorry, J-Ho. She’s totally yours now, I promise.

Mikey

Sure, at first I thought he was nice to me because of who I lived with. But after they graduated, he still calls me and invites me to do things. He’s really smart, a great artist and a philosopher to boot. A genuine friend who I know misses me as badly as I miss him.

Monica

How do I begin to describe my relationship with Monica? It’s a weird and complicated tale that’s not for the faint of heart. In the end, Monica’s a sweet, genuine, confusing, neurotic force. She’s constantly pushing herself too hard and doubting herself too much. Once she lets herself know how amazing she is, she’ll be set. Until then, she’s still adorable. She’ll probably read this many many times, and that makes me feel special.

Neil

He’s another one of my smart friends that knows everything about anything cool. Dating Beth, he’s even cooler. One of those people it was hard to say ‘goodbye’ to. We hung out a whole lot, and it wasn’t just because of all his video game systems. Working on Collegian staff with him was great, as were all the productions we worked together on. Trashbag diaper.

Pat

I didn’t get to know this kid as well as I should have. But he’s friends with Doug, so you know he’s awesome. He was in my movie. The first time we met, he asked if I would go to New York with him. That was weird, so I said no, and I’m afraid I missed my chance. He lived off campus, he wore those pants, and he made that movie with the cabin. Mmmmm…

Phil

There will never be one like him. In West Side Story I was afraid of him. A year later, he took a bunch of us to Pegasus. One of those theatre personalities you just had to get to know.

Pierce

My freshman. I would have shown him the ways of the herd, but I am forced to leave him to the dogs. He’ll be alright. I just hope for him the same experience I had. “Not at all.”

Rachel

Raise your hand if at one point in your life, you had a crush on Rachel. That’s what I thought. Another one of those brilliant people that does absolutely everything, you wonder how she’s able to stand. I wanted to be friends with her so badly, and was very happy when it happened. I love the fact that she and Hans went to Disney World in secret.

Rainey

Sweetheart. Kind of responsible for this post. One of those people I’m glad lived so close to GCC that we could still hang out after she graduated. She’s all the good things in life. And I don’t make fun of her that much.

Sarah P.

She really came into her own after college, but while she was there she was still something to behold. Really smart (I find myself saying that about a lot of people, but it’s still true), she has a ridiculously contagious laugh. We held hands and cried all through “Return of the King.” So I guess what I’m saying is that after Homecoming, I’m totally in love. But alas, she loves that pussy.

Sarah W.

I christened her ‘Boo’ and it’s stuck: one of my proudest accomplishments. When I first met her, I couldn’t ever decipher if she was Sarah or Shelly. (Fate and the alphabet have brought them together again.) SarahWattsSarahWattsSarahWattsSarahWattsSarahWattsSarahWatts…

Shelly

Knowing Shelly is like having a precious jewel stuck in your belly button and growing your hair out and having people use you to make wishes. That’s how special Shelly is to me. A propensity for amazing homeschool hair and a knack for being buried under cushions and blankets make her supreme.

Stephanie

When I read her blog I imagine her reading it out loud to me. She’s just neat. There was a time when she would periodically wear elf ears to lunch. This was when I didn’t know her, but I really wanted to.

Steve

He brought out the weirder aspects of my room junior year. A big fan of comic books and hero clix, he is a gifted Magic player. I will never know what any of these things really mean. But I do know that he’s tall, blonde and has lips like a cherub. He’s so laid back you’d think he’s high all the time but he’s just high on life.

Travis

When I miss school, I play the Flying Dutchmen. He’s a gifted musician and an amazing personality. He introduced me to the fetus song, to which I am ever grateful and hateful. He dates Katie, which is enough for anyone to be awesome. But even if he didn’t, he’d manage just swell on his own.