January 12, 2007

Why hasn't Trey updated?

I'm not sure how to put this. I'm kind of a big deal. Perhaps now you understand why I'm very busy.

I’m flipping through the channels, because after weeks of going without TV, I’ve remembered that there is an antenna attached to my television. It took me a while to come to this realization. I went through my entire DVD collection. Twice. I missed new episodes of “LOST” and “Heroes.”

It’s either daytime TV or the news. (Dr. Phil doesn’t come in clearly. There’s this horrible hissing sound). I start watching the news because air traffic was making it look like something serious was going on. There are all kinds of exciting fonts and tense voices. But after a couple minutes of my undivided attention, all they’ve said of several major highways is the word, “typical.” Before the commercial break, the anchor tells me that someone has stolen the Baby Jesus from a nativity scene somewhere in town. [This is the part where I wonder why the heck someone still has a glowing nativity scene in their yard, but then I look at my Christmas tree sparkling in the corner] Unsatisfied, I flip to “Bernie Mac.” Don’t ask me why. I knew I wouldn’t be entertained, but I also knew I wouldn’t be disappointed.

This is what I’ve been doing for the past two months since I last updated. No joke. I’ve become a waste. A void of human thought or emotion. Someone of absolutely no value to society. A doo-doo head. A guy who quickly runs out of euphemisms for himself.

There’s a single fly in my apartment, which is a surprise considering the fact that I haven’t removed the garbage from the past two weeks or washed any dishes for three. I don’t mind him. We’ve actually bonded. He doesn’t move much. Typically he’ll hang out on the end table while I’m on the futon. I like to think it’s because he wants to be like me. But my better judgment tells me that he doesn’t move because I don’t bother to turn on my heat. I’ve named him Seymour. I took a picture of him last night:

Yep. This is my life. And now you know about it.

I’m going to turn off the TV.

…if I can find the remote.

Oh there it is.

But it’s really far.


Comments on "Why hasn't Trey updated?"


Blogger Rainey said ... (9:11 PM) : 

Damn, good thing we are coming to visit tomorrow. You need a life. :-P


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