July 19, 2004

Weekends! I live for the weekends!

"Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability."
- George Bernard Shaw

I told my dentist about my TMJ.  He told me he wouldn't do anything about it because he couldn't bear to put me through it: "The cure is most definetely worse than the disease."  So he sent me to Dick's Sporting Goods to buy a mouth guard.  I was reminded how out of place I am in a sporting goods store.  In order to procure a mouth guard, you have to go into the middle of the all-american sports gear section.  As I stood awkwardly between jock straps and Tanactin, deciding among MAX, MEGA, or ULTRA, I saw an aquaintance from highschool who is apparently still a jock.  For a moment he looked like a deer in headlights.  I think he was afraid that the store would collapse on the both of us if either of us stayed any longer, so he left.  I think he slept with my girlfriend or something...  ah, highschool.

So after my $2.00 investment, I now have a pacifier for when I go to bed.  I found it has many practical uses.  When preparing it (sitting it in boiling water), it can be used as an obscure torture devise.  Never trust a product when the package says "immerse in boiling water for 14 seconds, then place in your mouth, biting firmly, and push the sides to your gums with your fingers."  I think part of my gums is still in the bite guard.  The second use is the inspiration it provides me in up with an Oscar-winning monologue for the summer blockbuster Rocky XI - the Musical.  It also prevents me from breathing at night.  But for the first 15 minutes of every morning since, no TMJ.

Saturday was well spent, weed-eating at the new house and hopelessly peering in the windows at the lack of finish.  Then that evening, our family met to celebrate my cousin's 30th birthday.  It was the first time I'd seen my family since Brooke's wedding.  It was kind of nice.  It was weird to see Brooke and Adam as a married couple.  I think they've locked themselves in the bedroom for the last month and a half.  My theory was proven correct when they both had to leave early.  My little cousin, Lauren, brought her GameBoy Advanced and was playing some Disney princess game.  I jokingly made the comment that "back in my day, those things were in black and white."  Then I realized it was true, and I felt old.  Curse you, I love the '90s!

Now I'm back at work.  I'm hoping to get tomorrow off and go to King's Island.  Tuesday is the only day with nice weather predicted this week.  If it's not OK with my boss, I think I'll go anyway, because I'm a crazy rebel.  I'm the only person who comes in every day, and everybody else has already taken their 2-week vacations.

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